The Hard

Today was just one of those weird emotional days for me. It was a just a strange day. Riley has been coaching the last month or so and has been out of town almost every weekend so I've been either taking the kids to church by myself while he's gone or having friends and family help me watch the twins so that I can get to church and make sure Kendle and Morgan can be there. It has been really, really tough. It takes a lot of effort to make arrangements and figure things out just to get there. Today was the second week in a row that I was the recipient of some big time selfless service from friends who offered their help. It has been very humbling for me to receive so many acts of service over the last year or more since the twins were born. I know they don't view it as a big deal to help me, but it really means a lot to me and I don't take it for granted.

I realized over the last week that there is a season and time for everything and this is just a really, really challenging one for me. I've been fighting it and fighting it, and feeling that I can handle anything that comes along, but it was a losing battle. So I've finally given myself some permission to just let those feelings go. I feel like a little of the stress is gone.

It is NOT my season to be the person that volunteers to help out for everything that comes along.

It is NOT my time to try and keep up and worry about what everyone else is doing and what fun things I might be missing out on.

It IS my season to like going to bed early and be more of a home body because I'm really needing all the sleep I can get.

It IS my time to be home with my children every day and try my best to make their childhood wonderful and they are the only ones I care to impress with my time and devotion.

It IS my season to have an imperfect home with toys left all over the house and messes being constantly made, because four little children live in this "cozy" little house of ours.

I don't know why the simplest conclusions are the hardest to come by sometimes, because I feel like this was kind of a "duh" moment for me. I wish I could push rewind and go back before the twins were born and tell myself that the next few years were going to push me and challenge me and mold me in ways I never thought possible and that it would be emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting - every single day. That basically no matter how hard I tried to imagine what it was going to be like, there was no way to prepare for it. That I would simultaneously wish every day for a vacation, yet also dread leaving my little ones behind. That every day would be a roller coaster of emotions and ups and downs. That those two adorable little boys would be SO DARN BUSY. AND CLEVER. AND FAST!!!

But I found while offering a friend some advice the other day, that it was exactly the advice I needed to be listening to myself. (Why is that?)  I said something along the lines of "that from the hardest challenges come the greatest blessings" or "sometimes the hardest things are the most worth it". Something like that. And then I remembered one of my most favorite lines from the movie A League of Their Own where Geena Davis tells Tom Hanks that she was quitting and going home "because it just got too hard." And then he replies to her, "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard, is what makes it great." Gah! I love that movie.

Well, it is late and I am starting to ramble so I need to go to bed, but I just felt like I really needed to write these feelings down. I want my children to know how much I love them though, and how every single thing I do for them is worth it and I couldn't imagine life without each and every one of them.

Chef Kendle

Last night Kendle was in charge of planning and preparing a healthy dinner so she could complete one of her requirements in her Faith in God book. The Faith in God program helps boys and girls ages 8-11 live gospel principles, develop testimonies, build friendships, and develop righteous qualities that help them to achieve their great potential as children of God. There are so many wonderful activities listed in the booklet that give the children an opportunity to learn and serve. I'm excited to work with Kendle on this throughout the next few years.

She was in charge of choosing what to cook, making a grocery list, and then doing the cooking and setting the table, and so on. She chose to make spaghetti which is one of her most favorite things to eat, and I told her I would teach her how to make home made french bread to go with it. We were also going to make a salad to go with it (but mom forgot to get a salad mix from the store), so after thinking it over with Kendle we decided to just add some olives and grapes to the menu instead. This was her meal after all, it should be things she likes to eat. We were also going to make fruit pizza for dessert, but we are going to make it for tonight's dessert instead. We were a little cooked out.

She came racing in the door after school, so excited to get started. I had to help with a few things for safety reasons (like draining the pasta), but other than that she did just about everything with some instructions from me. I think she liked baking the bread the best. I tried to be patient the whole way through (which at times was a bit tough) and I think it turned out to be a good experience for her and for me as well. It made me realize I need to get her in the kitchen more to help me and learn from me so I can start giving her more responsibilities. And, I think she realized how much work it can be to prepare a meal and clean up. She was very good about my cleaning as you go rule and even helped unload the dishwasher while she was waiting for the bread to rise. So it was win-win all around.

Here are some pictures:

Morgan was excited too. He loves spaghetti and french bread. He told Kendle that the food was dee-wish-iss!

Turning 8, Part III

One of the most important reasons Kendle was so excited to turn 8, was that she would finally be old enough to be baptized. She has attended baptisms for older cousins and friends and anticipated the day it would be her turn. She has talked about it for months and months and crossed off the days on her calendar.

She was able to be baptized at the Parley Street church building surrounded by lots of family and friends. Riley performed the baptism and confirmation and my father, my grandfather, and two of my older brothers - Jeremy and Richard were also able to help with the confirmation. She wanted her grandpa to give the talk on the Holy Ghost and he gave her some good advice. One thing in particular he counseled her and the other little girls that were baptized was to take a moment in the morning before they rush out the door for school to just pause a minute and let the Holy Ghost "catch up" to them so they could have it's companionship on their way to school and through the rest of their day. I reminded Kendle of that this week as she was heading down the sidewalk for the bus and I think it has helped her. It was a good little thought.

One thing I will always remember about Kendle's baptism was her smiling face as she came out of the water and as I was helping her change her clothes, she just had a perma-grin the whole time. I have thought about what that day would be like for a long time and I was very proud of her.

She was excited to receive some really nice scriptures from her grandma and grandpa Tovey and a pretty CTR ring and bracelet from Riley and I. She was afraid she was going to lose her ring if she wore it to school, but she's worn the bracelet every day - even to soccer practice which I had to warn her might not be the best idea, although with how wild things can get at soccer practice maybe it's not a bad idea after all. Ha.

Another thing about turning 8 that is really exciting to Kendle is that she is able to attend Activity Days at the church two times a month on Wednesday afternoons with the other girls her age. She's been really looking forward to being able to start going to that and working on her Faith in God requirements. She got to go to Activity Day for the first time last week and had a great time and loved her leaders. They played a get to know you game and had some little candy treats for getting answers right. Totally right up Kendle's alley. She is already super excited to go again next week.

So far being 8 really is great!

Photo memories of the special day:

{Typical family picture of us - Cooper was just about to grab Kendle's flower in her hair, Kale and Morgan aren't looking at the camera, and Riley is super sun burnt from coaching his soccer game earlier that day.}

Sunday Photos

I felt the need to snap a few photos before leaving for church this morning. It takes quite a few tries to get one that is half way decent, but the kids looked so cute today I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Next time we'll have to try for a whole family shot if we're feeling extra brave.

Fifth times the charm!

I love all my handsome boys and my beautiful tan little girl.