Pushing Limits

Last Saturday I completed my first half-marathon. I felt pretty prepared, but the whole week leading up to the race I was nervous and my stomach was in knots. The night before I couldn't sleep a wink. All sorts of different scenarios kept running through my mind. What if my foot starts hurting again, what if I keep coughing the whole time (hard time getting over a cold), what if I hit a wall and get burnt out too early, what if, what if, what if.......................it was a long night. In the morning Riley drove me to the starting area to check in for the race. I got my chip timer and found for some reason it awkwardly wrapped around my ankle unlike everyone else. I know I have small ankles, but this was kind of ridiculous. Finally I looked at a friends and realized mine was almost broken and hanging by a thread. Riley ran and got me a new one which I was so glad to have since the other one probably would have fallen off during the race. Crisis averted!

They called the warning for everyone to start lining up. There were so many runners, just a sea of faces in every direction. Everyone anxious, making sure their shoes were tied tight enough, gear in the right place, ipod's set on their running mix, stretching and moving in place. And then we were off, slowly at first to get the mass of runners through the starting gate and up the hill past the boat launch. I started to get antsy and began to bob and weave my way forward to get some space and pick up some speed. It took about a mile in to get  a good pace going and spread out a bit. I felt my adrenaline surging and kept thinking about a quote I read from a great running coach:

"Run the first part of the race with your head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." I didn't want to burn out too early, but was also trying to make sure I wasn't going too slow. My adrenaline was making me want to speed along.

About the 4 mile mark I was keeping stride with another girl runner and stayed that way for another mile or 2. At one point she looked over at me and told me thanks for helping her keep a good pace. That was the cool thing. I felt like even though we were all competing against each other, we were all in it together too. Because 13 miles is a long ways to go and you have respect for each and every person that is puting the effort into completing it. After the turn around I felt a bit of relief, and knew once I got back to the main running trail with about 4 miles left it would be go time. I watched the miles tick down and kept pushing and pushing myself.

At about mile 11 I was suddenly siezed with a painful side cramp that would not go away. I was on the home stretch and I just kept telling myself not to stop, just keep going. For the record, I have never gotten a side cramp like that ever in my last few months of training so why I got one that day I can't say but I felt like it was a test of my will. At mile 12 I was still in pain and wanted to quit and walk badly. I had never wanted anything more than to just be done with this race and I kept asking myself why I had thought this was a good idea in the first place. I was not having fun, I knew I wasn't going to finish in the time I knew I could do it in. I was getting so mad and upset at the situation. Finally I came around the last bend with a half-mile left to the finish and I decided to just give it one last push of everything I had - pain or not. I could see the finish line and hear the cheering. The ending was cruel as we had to run back up the hill by the boat launch to reach the finish and my calves and side were screaming. About 20 feet from the finish line I spotted my children waiting to cheer me on and as I passed through the finish line I saw Riley waiting there for me with flowers. I was done! I simultaneously felt like a million bucks and like I could die at the same time.

Running a race like this is something I never thought I could do. It was so mentally and physically grueling, but very rewarding and worth the effort and months of running. Riley and the kids were my biggest cheerleaders and were always encouraging me and helping me find time to go on the long runs. Cooper and Kale when seeing me put my workout clothes on will always ask, "going running mom?" and I have to laugh. Overall it was a great experience.

 

Running Music

I thought I'd share some songs from my running/workout playlist. Here's a sample of what's playing on my ipod during my runs:



Live Like a Warrior -- Matisyahu
Feel So Close (radio edit) -- Calvin Harris
Blow  -- Ke$ha
Payphone -- (clean version) -- Maroon 5 featuring Wiz Khalifa
Super Bass (clean version) -- Nicki Minaj
Runaways -- The Killers
Good Time -- Owl City and Calry Rae Jepsen
Heads Will Roll -- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Till I Collapse (clean version) -- Eminem
Lights -- Ellie Goulding
Part of Me -- Katie Perry
The Fighter -- Gym Class Heroes featuring Ryan Tedder
Let Me Down Easy -- 2AM Club
Turn Up The Music -- Chris Brown
Best of You -- Foo Fighters


Also, here's a little something from Nike and Ellie Goulding. Love it:

*Half-Way Mark*

I was thinking this morning how since we are about half-way through the year I should sit down and tally up my miles ran so far. I try to keep good track by writing it down, and separating the miles by month. As of this week, I am at just over 300 miles. I  have been trying to work in at least one long run a week, but being the mom of four little ones with a busy husband doesn't always allow for that. I am getting to the point where if my energy level is good and the weather is nice, it feels great, especially the long ones where I can ease up and take my time more.

A few weeks ago while running, another runner  passed me going the opposite direction - a middle aged man with longer hair and a baseball cap on.  He was running at a good speed with these great big strides and he just looked so happy, like he was having a blast. He had a big smile on his face and looked like he was enjoying every minute. It made me smile back in return and put an extra spring in my step. I can't exactly put into words how it changed the way I look at exercising, but it really made me think about how fantastic it is to be able to get out and let your body just have the freedom to let go and burn off some steam. To be physically healthy and able enough to do that is real freedom. I know, I know. Deep thoughts all over the place.

Here are a few things that have helped me this far:

*Comfortable running attire
Good shoes and socks are a must, but the clothes you wear can help you just as much. Not only clothes that are comfortable to wear, but that also do not make you feel self-concious. You don't want to be focusing on constantly having to readjust your outfit. Even if something looks "cute", if it's not practical or doesn't stay in place it's not worth the bother. A good sports bra is essential, you don't want your back or shoulders suffering. Dress for the weather - but remember that the ideal temp for running is about 50/60 degrees so anything hotter than that and you want to be in cool light clothing. When you start burning up a sweat, even 70 degrees feels really hot.

*Distance tracker or timer
Whether you use programs like mapmyrun.com, the Nike running apps, or just the stopwatch feature on your ipod or watch, being able to track your times and distance helps you to push yourself and manage your runs more efficiently. Sometimes I start to feel sluggish or tired, but when I look at my tracker and see that I only have a mile or so left, it helps me kick it into gear and pick up the pace a bit. It's also helpful to go back and look at your stats from your runs to see at what points and intervals along the way you slowed down, sped up, managed hills and elevation, and other circumstances. Especially if you are training for a race, it is very helpful. It's a useful tool to be competitive with YOURSELF and look for ways to improve.

*Make it a game
Pick a marker or something farther in your path and sprint to it. Find someone walking or running ahead of you and try to catch up to them or pass them. f you listen to music, vary your running speed to match the beat. Give yourself little personal challenges and set *small goals each time. One time when I had been running for about 3 miles or so, another lady came bounding onto the running trail behind me all fresh and ready to start her run. The competetive side of me kicked in and I pretended I was in a race and I was not going to let her pass me even though I was getting tired. I sped up and sprinted for a while, and when I looked back she was way far behind. A little immature yes, but kind of fun and the best feeling ever! (sorry lady)

*Set small achievable goals as stepping stones to the big ones
The old saying goes that you have to walk before you can run right? Well yes and no. Sometimes you have to push yourself to prove to your body and your mind, that what they were telling you was wrong. Your mind might be telling you that you can only walk, but your body might be raring to go saying, hey we can do this -- give me a chance! Physically yes, sometimes our body gives off warning signals like cramps or not being able to catch our breath (oooh, believe me I've been there)and it's important to pay attention and take a break when those things happen. But more often than not, it is our mind that pulls the switch and says, nope that's all I can do -- I'm done. Don't believe it! You can begin to build up your distance, endurance, and speed by setting small goals and sticking to them. I figured out early on that if I could run 1 mile without stopping, I could run 2. And so on and so on. This is all coming from my own personal experience and what has worked for me, but the biggest obstacle I had to overcome was not quitting on myself.

*Have a personal mantra
Everyone has a favorite quote. Everyone has experienced something hard or difficult in their lives. Find something that resonates with you, and let that help you through the tough parts. One day I decided I was going to run farther than I had before and the little negative part of me just wanted to laugh and be like, "This is never going to happen. You aren't going to make it. What makes you think you can do this? You know you are going to quit and get tired." Then I had a memory of being in the hospital with Cooper and Kale and thinking the same thing. How in the heck am I going to do this? I don't know how I did it, but I did. And that's pretty much how everything is in life, it seems impossible until you do it. So now, when I'm feeling kind of weak and wimpy I just think about my twin boys, and say to myself -- "I had two big twin babies. I can do this. That was hard. This is just running."  I also think about my favorite quote: "A block of granite which was an obstacle in the path of the weak, becomes a stepping stone in the path of the strong." That is some powerful stuff right there. And repeat and repeat and repeat..............

*Cross training
I try and do a couple days a week of free weights and other leg exercises on my days off of running.
I believe it has made a big impact. Also, ab exercises to strengthen the core. I highly recommend the leg pyramid to tone up and strengthen your legs. The free weights help balance out my back and shoulders, along with toning of course. I've had back problems pretty much my whole life and the weights really help as odd as that sounds. Bike riding, swimming, roller blading, playing your favorite sport, or hiking are also some other great ways to do some lower impact exercise and work some other muscle groups. Got to give your knees, shins, and feet a break from the pounding impact of running.

*Take care of yourself
I've learned the hard way that you have to be kind to your body or it's not going to do what you want it to do. Stretching is sooooo important. Taking care of sore muscles and aches and pains can head off big injuries later on. Listen to your body and give it time to heal or rest. Also giving your body the fuel it needs to work hard is essential. Protein and the right amount and kind of carbs is important. As women sometimes we are so focused on the "losing weight" part of the equation that we forget that it takes energy to workout and burn off excess calories and that energy has to come from eating enough good food to get us through. I've gone for runs where I didn't have anything for lunch except a salad, and believe me it wasn't pretty. It's like a car running on fumes, sooner or later it's going to have to pull over and get more gas or it's going to stop working and leave you stranded.  Hot baths, ice, ibuprofen or other anti-inflammatory, and a good foot rub from your hubby never hurts either. Also, drink water like it's your job.

*Find a time that works for you
Now that it's summer and my morning routines are a little more relaxed, I've been able to get away for some morning runs. The good thing about going in the morning is it is done and out of the way and it's not too hot yet. It feels good to start the day out right. The flip side for me is I don't have very much get up and go in the morning. My energy level is just not at it's optimum. I so wish I was more of a morning person. When I run in the evening I feel like I have the most energy and get my best distances/times. It feels good to run as the temperature is dipping down and the sun is setting. The flip side to that is you don't want to eat dinner to closely to the time you will go running and sometimes it interferes with date nights, sports, or family plans. Personally it's my favorite time to go, but harder to get away. I've ran a few afternoons lately when it was hot and that was not something I wanted to do again any time soon. When I run indoors on my treadmill, the best time for me was in the afternoon when the twins were napping. It's all a personal preference and what works for you.

*Reward yourself
This can be a hard one for many women if you are anything like me. We tend to not think of ourselves first or do that many nice things that will actually benefit us. New running shoes, downloading new songs to workout to, going to get a pedicure, or going out for a super good treat are a few of the things I've done to just give myself a little pat on the back for sticking with it. Start tracking your miles and set up little rewards as you go.

*Music, music, music
You know that good feeling you get when your favorite song comes on the radio and you instantly feel like your mood is lifted? Having a good running playlist is probably one of the most important things that have kept me motivated and interested. If you're starting to get bored, switch it up. There have been many a time that a song has helped me make it that last mile or picked up the pace. Never underestimate the power of some good beats.

*Stop comparing yourself to others
As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy. The point is that you are trying and that is what counts. I always try to remember that I am in competition with no one but myself. At the end of the day, what I've accomplished is all that matters.

I think this about sums it up:

Lessons from the Glow Run

Last Friday night Kendle and I ran our first race together - a 3 mile night glow run along the Columbia River here in Pasco. Our Relay for Life team sponsored the event and it was a total blast. Everyone was decked out in all sorts of neon and glow in the dark accessories and clothing. Not only was the race itself super fun, but the fact that so many people came out to show their support for such a good cause was awesome. I'm so glad that we had such a great experience participating in our first race.  I usually don't consider myself a very competitive person, but there was something about running and raising money for cancer and thinking about those that we have lost and those that are dealing with cancer right now that just made me want to run my heart out for all of them.

I had a personal PR for a 3 mile run at 24:06. Pretty sure if I could have started sprinting right away I could have made it under 24 minutes. It was hard bobbing and weaving through all of the people at the very beginning, but eventually it cleared out and I was able to get a good pace going. Kendle and I started out side by side and she was actually cutting a nice path through people for me. She kept up a good pace with me for the first half mile or so. She had a great time of 30:52. She ran her little heart out, I was pretty darn proud of her. She came up with her own system to get through the race: sprint, run, jog, and then walk when she got tired. She loved it and wants to do another race soon.

 I have to share this experience from the race that has stayed with me and I think it really taught me something that I needed to see, feel, and learn. Kendle and I were keeping pace together really well at the beginning, I was sprinting pretty hard to get a good start going and she was keeping up. About a half mile in I could tell she was starting to struggle and slow down. I was tempted to slow down with her and give her a break, but I was trying to be this fast race runner lady and wanted to do my best, so I made the decision to go on ahead and leave her behind. As I put distance between us, I took a glance over my shoulder and I could see her slowing and getting swallowed up by the darkness and the sea of runners. It made me kind of sad. She was trying so hard and really wanted to finish with a good time.  My next thought was just to concentrate on running as fast as I could so I could be to the finish line in plenty of time to watch her finish and take a picture. I found a fast person in front of me to keep pace with and did my best to keep up with them the remainder of the race.  After crossing the finish line myself, I stood and cheered with others on the sidelines as the other racers came through. In the darkness it was hard to make out who was who, and I kept searching and searching for her face to appear among those nearing the end. When I spotted her face among a few other runners approaching the finish, I felt like I had just learned a profound lesson that I as a mother needed to learn at this exact moment in my life. It literally felt like I had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. [At this point in our mother/daughter relationship, we don't always get along and very rarely see eye to eye. We disagree more often than not and I've been frustrated with the yucky road I felt our relationship was heading down. It is something that I have been trying to figure out how to make better and worrying that her and I would never have the type of bond that I wanted us to have. I would lay awake at night imagining her going off to college and leaving the nest without her feeling like she has a strong link to me. That's a terrifying feeling for a mom.]  But I realized as I saw her cross that finish line, that sometimes as a mother you have to just go on ahead and hope that what you are teaching your kids and the love you unconditionally give is good enough for them to make it across the finish line in their own time and in their own way. At some point in their life you have to loosen the reigns and just have hope. You can't always run with them and hold their hand and pull them along and slow yourself down with frustration and worry in the process. I recognized the fact that I need to lighten up on my feelings to control most everything in my life and take a lighter approach to our relationship. Don't force things.  I'm going to try my best not to be so hard on her. I already knew she was amazing and is capable of great things, but I'm not going to push so hard and not try and make her get where she needs to go, because she is already well on her way and will get there on her own. I read a great quote the other day that said something along the lines of "Don't be so worried about raising a great kid, that you forget you already have one."  I had the distinct and overwhelming feeling when I gave her a big congratulatory hug that everything is going to be ok with us. Not in my time which is usually now, now, now, but in time. It was kind of ironic, but I felt like that finish line represented the possibility of having a fresh start.



If I had my own Nike running poster, this is what it might say:

"That's me in that picture. I am 32.  Mom of four great kids. Wife to a hard working husband. Three years ago I never thought I'd be running. Never thought I'd love running. Never thought I'd call myself a runner. Now I'm looking forward to more races. And training for a half-marathon. Most days I have to be super mom. But when I'm running, I just concentrate on being super fast. Here I come."

Oh yeah, and that girl in the picture with me? She's a stud. An academic. Softball, soccer, and basketball player. And now I'll add runner to that list. Future doctor, writer, professional soccer player, President of the United States, mother, marathon runner -- whatever she wants to be.