{This was taken the day I went to the hospital. It makes me hurt just to look at this picture.}
I was carrying around so much extra weight, that my heart would race all of the time, my back was in pain continually, I could barely catch my breath doing the simplest things, and my joints and bones ached and felt like they were falling apart. My knees felt like they were going to give out on me, and I feared they would never be the same so that I could have the agility and flexibility to do a quick knee bend to pick up toys or squat to help tie a shoe. It took me a good six months after the twins were born to get to where I could kneel down without pain or discomfort (and be able to get back up). Lets just say it gave me a very good wake up call as to how I did not want to feel the rest of my life. It scared me. I was very determined to whip myself back into shape no matter what and make sure I always took care of myself. No excuses.This time was going to be different from all of the other times.
Well, then real life after twins set in and there really was no extra time or energy to offer up to "working out". Every day was pretty much a workout in learning to juggle many things at once and keep two babies happy and well loved. But still determined, I decided that even though it wasn't realistic to get really good workouts in, I could concentrate on my diet and making sure I wasn't fueling myself with junk. To be honest, I was just too tired or busy to eat half of the time. I knew I needed to keep myself healthy however in order to avoid exhaustion and burnout. So just starting first with the diet portion before the workouts really helped me. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps.
By the time Cooper and Kale were in a good routine of taking regular longer naps during the day I decided it was time to really kick it into gear and start a regular daily workout routine. So as soon as school started this last fall, I began to get on the treadmill every day (or as many days as I could) after I'd put the twins down for a nap. The very first day, I wanted to see if I could run a mile straight without stopping. (Yes, I'm telling you I was starting out small.) I had not been able to run very fast in a long time and had no idea of what my body was still capable of doing or how my knees and everything else would hold up. I told myself to just run it in the best time I could without stopping and see what I could do. My time was not very good, but still better than I thought it would be which gave me incentive to do more. {The biggest thing I had to get over was that working out is as much mental as it is physical. You have to say that you can -- and then you will.} I made it a goal to see if I could get my time down farther and farther. So everyday when I did my half hour or more on the treadmill, I would always start with running the first mile as fast and hard as I could. It made it a challenge and sort of fun to see if I could beat my own time everyday. Then after I was done with the first mile I would do some walking/running/incline intervals for the rest of the time. I always made sure to have good workout playlists on my ipod which kept me pumped up and from getting bored.
In a month's time I had taken a minute and a half off of my time for the mile and by pushing myself by the end of December I was only a few seconds off the time I set as my goal. Because I had stayed committed, the running was paying off not only in shedding some weight, but more importantly I felt healthier and stronger and had more good energy. Mentally I was feeling better as well.
In January I decided to switch things up a bit, so instead of running four or five days a week I was running Mon/Wed/Fri, and then Tues/Thurs I started doing a workout DVD. I also decided to ramp up my running a bit and try to run farther/longer. I found that just by telling myself I could do five more minutes, I would get there and think, ok I can do another five minutes. It has been good to push myself and prove to myself that I can do it. That is a great feeling to give yourself. *Here's where I have to be honest.* I'm still not in love with running. Maybe if I was able to run outside more I would like it more. Maybe. But really, it's just become part of my routine - like cleaning the bathroom. I really don't like cleaning the bathroom, but it's something that has to be done and it feels good after you've done it. And just like cleaning the bathroom or any other household chore, it is much easier to do it often and maintain it than to let it go to pot and then have to really get down and dirty to restore it to it's normal state.
I like that my kids keep me accountable and ask if I've worked out that day. Morgan always asks me if I'm going to go run on the treadmill. It is a good feeling to be able to fit into clothes I want to wear, but there are a lot of more important things than that. I try to really stress that mommy does this so she can be strong and healthy, (and not because I look fat in my jeans). I don't want them to hear me say negative things about myself and then in turn feel like there is something wrong with them. I feel like I can jump and run and play and do the things I want to do now. I'm proud I have put in the hard work to get where I am and I know I still have a long way to go but that I can do it. I'm happy to be a positive role model for Kendle - that being strong and fit is more important than the pressure of being the unhealthy size 0 examples that the world puts out there for us all to see. A few years ago I would have just made short term goals to lose weight before a vacation or special event, but now I'm committed to making this a way of life.
So why did I share all of this? I just felt inspired today to let other people know that you can start small and keep working at where you want to be. You don't have to feel pressure to do what everyone else is doing. Find something you enjoy and that works for you. You can do it on your own time and make your own goals. This time last year I would have never thought that I would be where I'm at, or feeling as good as I am. I'm lucky to have lots of friends and family members that support and inspire me as well. I have lost about 16 pounds since September, and it has been through diet and tough exercise. (Mostly exercise though because I really love to eat and can't stop baking treats if my life depended on it.) I still have a long ways to go. I was basically starting from scratch, so believe me if I can do it anyone can!
Here are some things that have helped and worked for me:
*Good music on my ipod. Let's face it, running on a treadmill can get reeeeallllllyyyy boring, so I try and switch up the music I work out to and treat myself to new music to make it fun. Music makes everything better. It keeps me pumped up. I also listen to it on occasion when I'm doing my workout DVDs. (Because the hosts can get kind of annoying.)
*New workout clothes. It might seem silly to buy some new cute workout clothes if you only workout at home where no one else but your family sees you, but there is something about having designated "workout" clothes, that once I put them on I feel like I can't change my mind and not do it. Where as if I was just in some comfy sweats or other lounge type of clothes, I might be tempted to just whittle away my time on something else. It makes me feel like there is purpose in what I am doing.
*Setting Goals. I started by setting some short term achievable goals. It feels good, even if it is something simple. Then I began setting some long term goals. It always would psyche me out in the past if I just set a big grandiose goal, and it would be easy to give up because it would become discouraging. So I started off with little things that grew into bigger things. I didn't start out saying I was going to run the Boston Marathon, I just wanted to be able to run a mile straight as fast as I could without stopping.
*Having a designated time at night that is your cutoff for eating/snacking. I know this is kind of controversial and there has been a lot of debate on it in the health community, but all I can say is it works for me. My usual cutoff time is around 7:00/7:30. I try not to eat anything after that. I also feel like I sleep better because of it.
*Going to bed at a good time and getting up at a good time. Remember the old saying, "Early to bed, early to rise - makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." (I haven't been very good about that lately as I've been staying up late at night reading a good book.) If I stay up too late I feel sluggish and totally unmotivated the next day.
*Enlist your family to be your cheerleaders or exercise with you. Our whole family is trying to do more and be better about adding exercise into our days and staying active. Riley works out with his soccer team at practice, Kendle likes to ride her bike or jump rope when she's not playing a sport, and Morgan burns off a gazillion calories doing all the running, jumping, climbing, and playing he does every day. I've noticed everyone is a lot happier when they've got some exercise into their day.
*Practicing portion control. There are a few things that I try to avoid 99% of the time (like pop), but really I think I do much better if I just allow myself the things I want to eat instead of cutting them out all together which usually makes me crave them more. I know a lot of people who are way tougher and more hard core than me that have cut out sugar and all sweets and I give them a big virtual high five. I don't think I will ever be one of those people myself. I do however try and make lower fat or healthier versions of foods if there is a good alternative that is still tasty.
So that pretty much sums it up. It's an every day ongoing process. Nothing too tricky or complicated.
**If you'd like to get some helpful running tips, head over to my friend Jenn's Blog to read about some great pointers.
